Fighting for love

How many times have we heard the phrase “you need to fight for your love”? How often have we been fighting with our beloved and thinking that we are building a better relationship, but we are not getting into a better place no matter what we do?
Why do we keep doing this? When did we learn that we need to fight with each other to achieve certain things we want?
Is that our nature? Is that just part of our genes as a result of a set of events in humankind that makes us confront someone else to satisfy ourselves?
We try to challenge the world to make it our way. But, what if the person we need to fight against is not the one we believe it is?
What if we stop fighting each other and look into ourselves to see how we can fight our beliefs, instincts, and impulsive reactions?
Wouldn’t it be easier to fight someone who we really know, ourselves? Wouldn’t it be easier to yell at ourselves and say “STOP!” when we are in the middle of an argument?
Why do we go to the path where we want the other person to think our way, rather than challenge ourselves if our way is the one that needs to change?
What needs to happen if, even when we see the other person breaking up, we keep arguing, trying to make our point out and a conclusion done?

We misunderstood what fighting for love means.
It is not about jumping into fights with your beloved.
It is about fighting ourselves.
It is about conceding when you see that the other person has a concern.
It is about stopping accusing when seeing the other person upset.
It is about thinking twice about how and when we are sharing our concerns.
It is about challenging our beliefs before challenging the other’s view.
It is about embracing silences and separation if that makes the other person better.
It is about not fighting with your beloved.

I am constantly fighting for love.
I fight for love when I reply, “Yes, I can do it”, even if I wouldn’t do it by myself.
I fight for love when I take a picture of myself, even when I wouldn’t do it to make my beloved feel more secure.
I fight for love when I yell at myself every time a judgement thought appears on my mind towards my beloved.
I fight for love when I say to myself “don’t run away. She is only upset”.
I fight for love when I decide to give up basic instincts for the reward of being with the love of my life.

I am constantly fighting with myself, and I am proud of the better person I am becoming. Fighting for love is not about changing the other person to create a great partnership but about changing ourselves to be the best version for our relationship.
It sounds scary because it can make us feel that we will lose our identity, our genuine self. But that authentic self also grows. Our identity and beliefs evolve as we find out what fighting for love means.
We end up becoming a better version of ourselves.
We end up feeling no regret but thankful for how much we changed from the moment we fight with our beloved to the moment we start fighting for love.
We end up understanding a new definition of what fighting for love is.

This is what I ended up understanding. This is what, for me, is fighting for love.